I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Randomize
