I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I can't turn off my feet"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
