I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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