I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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