ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
