i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Operation Purity has been aborted
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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