I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
