i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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