A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
