she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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