Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
