All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
