I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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