The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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