im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
