You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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