just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You need Xanax blowdarts
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize