Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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