Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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