All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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