problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
