so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
