It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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