dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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