Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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