yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize