I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
kristin has been a bad kristin
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
