I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
