i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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