If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We left the knife in your bed.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
