I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
