I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
