Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
