i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
