Are we in a gay sports bar?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize