people are starting to question the shark bite story
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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