I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize