Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
