At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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