uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
