I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
