I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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