I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Randomize
