Pappa wants mamma naked
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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