No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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