apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
