He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
