Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
