Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
