it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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