i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize