Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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