how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
