I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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