sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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