Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I've blown a few things in my day
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
