Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
