Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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