I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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