Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
