I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
