Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
