Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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