He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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