Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
